Friendship & Acquaintances…Lessons Learned From a Distant Past

Ions ago, I remember my mother correcting me on the fact that I had very few friends….but many acquaintances.
I was hurt…Better yet, seriously offended.
Honestly, what did she know of my tender life of sixteen, where each day was a treasure to discovery?
But then, how little did I understand.

This was not the conversation I was expecting on this beautiful summer afternoon… And in seeing my dismay at her comment, she added…
“Look, there’s a significant difference between true friendship, the one that grows with you throughout the years… and…A long-term acquaintance that becomes nothing more than a smile of a few hours and no recall.”

Still, I was not convinced.

How could she not understand that those truer than true friends and I, we’re buddies for life? Discoverers of the forgotten. White Knights of the impossible ready to launch a new world.
Ah yes…That we were, and we were ready.
Our dreams were one, and our friendship only but a true representation of shared moments of revelations.

The conversation had now taken on a different tone…
She could see that I was surprised and upset at the comment…

And yes, she tried her best to explain as she went on to show me the different labyrinths we navigate when it comes to true friendship.

As she said:
“Look, I’m not here to hurt or cause a discussion, but you must understand for your good…and your future….
Understand that you are fortunate indeed if you can count on one hand, the persons that you consider and know to be your loyal friends.
In other words, you are fortunate if you have that many devoted friends….”

I can still see her…her head gently leaning to one side, looking at me with her eyes so full of love.

She knew that that truth, that moment of truth, was to me hurtful.

She knew that once I would fully understand and accept it, that her baby had now grown up a bit more. Grown up and hopefully wiser to a world that she wished so much to shield me from.

Funny how we remember specific moments. How they are etched in our memories as a starting point to the continuance of our lives.

Looking back on it all now, how I wish I could have told her how right she was. But then, here I was in the first mornings of my youth, ready to take it all on, with a whisper and a passion for my tomorrows.

Life has a way of teaching us when we least expect it
Looking back on that moment, did I understand what she tried so hard to explain on that late summer afternoon?

In a small way. Yes, I did understand. I understood as a sixteen-year-old could comprehend at that moment. And then, with time and experience, I came to understand the full meaning of friendship.

True friendship.

I’ve been lucky. I’ve had the chance to meet and interact with beautiful souls that you know come hell or high water; they would be there for you.

And I’ve also hit the proverbial wall when realizing that those sometimes ‘friends’ as my mother had so well explained, were nothing more than long-term acquaintances.
Those were my mistakes.

As being true and open by nature, I somehow expected the same in return.
I get it. Life is not always a mirror of oneself.

So, what did I learn from these truths?
For one, you are better off seeing it as it is. I know, it hurts. It’s confusing. Maddening because, yes, you honestly thought that, well… it was…different.

That somehow there was a connection there that made both your days …better.
Only to realize that it was but a shadow of your thoughts, hoping for a different outcome.

Friends?
Cherish the real ones. The ones that care.
The ones that accept you for you and ask nothing more than the same in return.
Cherish them.